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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have a yearning disability.

Live now on TikTok:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Going bananas on X:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Trending via Slack:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Going viral on Slack:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Going viral on YouTube:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Breaking via Discord:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Funny vending quotes

Funny vending quotes 🤣 bring a burst of laughter to those snack-time moments 🍫🥤 Whether you’re waiting for your favorite treat or just passing by, these witty sayings add a sprinkle of humor to the vending machine experience 🤪✨ Get ready to smile and chuckle as you discover the lighter side of grabbing snacks on the go! 😄🍿

New funny vending quotes 👇

All funny vending quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Live now on Snapchat:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Making waves on Slack:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Trending via YouTube:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Broadcasted on X:

The older I get, no.

Just shared via WeChat:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

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