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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Just landed via Telegram:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Going viral on Twitch:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Reported on Threads:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Live now on YouTube:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Going viral on Messenger:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Making waves on TikTok:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Trending via Telegram:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Seen just now on X:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Spotted on YouTube:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

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