Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Spotted on YouTube:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Live now on Discord:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Trending via Instagram:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Going viral on X:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Funny Winnie the Pooh quotes

New funny Winnie the Pooh quotes 👇

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

0

3 weeks ago

baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay

Someone from 🇨🇷 has recently shared this quote.

98 shares on Instagram this month.
Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

0

2 months ago

clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world

Someone from 🇵🇪 has recently bookmarked this quote.

106 shares on Messenger this month.

All funny Winnie the Pooh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

80 shares on Facebook this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

17 shares on Discord this month:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

You lose some, you lose some more.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Breaking via Threads:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Shared recently on Messenger:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Seen just now on Slack:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Seen just now on X:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Making waves on Twitch:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Going viral on Messenger:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Just landed via Slack:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Winnie the Pooh quotes

New funny Winnie the Pooh quotes 👇

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

All funny Winnie the Pooh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨