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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Live now on YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Freshly posted on Threads:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Spotted on Instagram:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Just landed via Twitch:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Making waves on WeChat:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Just shared via WeChat:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Just shared via TikTok:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Funny yoghurt quotes

New funny yoghurt quotes 👇

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

0

2 months ago

bezos, contrast, cup, fly, humor, i, jeff, Jeff Bezos, jet, jets, lid, lids, luxury, private, private jet, recycling, Venice, wedding, yoghurt, yoghurt lid

Someone from 🇧🇷 has recently bookmarked this quote.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny yoghurt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

46 shares on Discord this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

57 shares on X this month:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Just landed via Threads:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Just landed via Facebook:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Just landed via Telegram:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Shared recently on X:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

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Funny yoghurt quotes

New funny yoghurt quotes 👇

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

All funny yoghurt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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