Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'speak now, lawn later' approach to expressing opinions! 🌱💬 Just remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of that sign! 😉🌿"

communication, day, expression, getting, humor, i, know, lawn, lawn sign, opinion, people, sign, think, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

2 months ago

allowed, behavior, house, humor, independence, own, permission, social, social behavior, surprise
Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

2 months ago

choice, communication, couple, decision, dinner, food, help, humor, husband, i, relationship, turn
It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

2 months ago

adventure, buried, buried treasure, expectation, financial, financial security, finding, humor, hunting, me, normal, plan, point, retirement, right, security, treasure, treasure hunting
If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

2 months ago

back, banana, humor, insult, mess, motivation, posture, reminder
Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

2 months ago

AI, automation, business, communication, deal, deals, emails, everyone, future, humor, just, know, let, point, talk, technology, tell, texts, time, well
If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

26 shares on X this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Seen just now on Discord:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Spotted on Instagram:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Just landed via Reddit:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Going viral on X:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Seen just now on Discord:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Seen just now on Slack:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨