Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,787

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the kind of scientific research I could really throw my wallet at! 💸😆

desire, discover, enough, God, happiness, happy, humor, i, irony, me, money, wealth, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

0

2 months ago

feeling, humor, life, motivation, optimism, perspective, self-esteem, sperm, winning
If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

0

2 months ago

drink, humor, Jason, juice, Mimosa, Momoa, orange, orange juice, pun, wordplay
Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

0

2 months ago

boss, boundary, communication, humor, i, office, rejection, responsibility, tell, want, work
May the algorithms be with you.

0

4 months ago

algorithm, geek, geek humor, humor, pun, star, Star Wars, technology, wars
If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

0

5 months ago

ask, hang, hang out, humor, interaction, invitation, me, rejection, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, want
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

0

3 weeks ago

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

34 shares on X this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Just landed via X:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Making waves on Threads:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Live now on Messenger:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Live now on X:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Just landed via YouTube:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Going viral on Twitch:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Just landed via Instagram:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Trending via WeChat:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

May the algorithms be with you.

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨