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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,005

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Breaking via Threads:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Spotted on Slack:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Going viral on Messenger:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Spotted on TikTok:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Trending via TikTok:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Going viral on Twitch:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

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Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the yogurt went to the gym but forgot to shower afterwards! 💪🤢

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on YouTube this month:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Never eat more than you can lift.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Next to nothing is a weird place.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,779

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Just shared via WeChat:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Trending via TikTok:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

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