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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Spotted on Facebook:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Live now on WhatsApp:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Just shared via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Breaking via TikTok:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Spotted on Slack:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

1 day ago

Playful quote highlighting humor in cleaning solo, with a cheeky, lighthearted vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living solo: where dust bunnies fear the birthday suit cleaning crew 🧹😆🏡

alone, apartment, cause, cleaning, Funny, funny situation, having, humor, i, just, living, living alone, naked, own, place, situation, whole, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

96 shares on X this month:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Going viral on YouTube:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Making waves on WeChat:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Making waves on Threads:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Trending via Telegram:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Shared recently on Discord:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

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