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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Breaking via Instagram:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Going viral on X:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Making waves on TikTok:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Just landed via Twitch:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Live now on Instagram:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Just shared via Messenger:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Spotted on Messenger:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

1 day ago

Playful quote highlighting humor in cleaning solo, with a cheeky, lighthearted vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living solo: where dust bunnies fear the birthday suit cleaning crew 🧹😆🏡

alone, apartment, cause, cleaning, Funny, funny situation, having, humor, i, just, living, living alone, naked, own, place, situation, whole, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

56 shares on X this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Seen just now on Slack:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Live now on Messenger:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Going viral on X:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Spotted on Facebook:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Trending via Snapchat:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Live now on Reddit:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

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