Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

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Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

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I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

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Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

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It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

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Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.