Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Just landed via X:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Spotted on Twitch:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Just shared via X:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Going viral on Messenger:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey buddy, just a friendly reminder: A wedding is not a DIY open bar experiment! 😜🥂 #DrinkResponsibly"

celebration, drank, friendship, humor, i, just, last, love, man, much, night, party, reach, reach out, say, wanted, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

0

4 weeks ago

bathroom, bed, being, comfort, comfy, frustration, hate, i, inconvenience, night, nothing, pee, sleep
You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

0

6 months ago

anything, early, humor, leadership, management, meeting, meetings, motivation, person, productivity, time, time management, work
My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, cheesecake, dessert, eating, finished, funny situation, hear, house, humor, husband, i, knocking, locked, locked out, marriage, marriage humor, rest, situation, weird
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

0

2 months ago

comfort, day, favorite, home, house, introvert, lazy, lazy day, leave, leisure, relaxation, stay, stay home, thing, weekend
I can resist everything except temptation.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, i, irony, resistance, self-control, temptation
Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

0

2 months ago

days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

36 shares on X this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

41 shares on Discord this month:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Trending via Messenger:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Going viral on YouTube:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Making waves on Messenger:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Going viral on YouTube:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨