I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.