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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Live now on LinkedIn:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Making waves on Threads:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Making waves on Slack:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Live now on Snapchat:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Just landed via Facebook:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Spotted on Discord:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When artificial intelligence and mom intelligence collide… trust me, mom wins every time! 🤖👩‍👧✋

asked, ChatGPT, conversation, family, grok, humor, humor quote, i, joke, mom, rejection, said, technology, well

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

96 shares on X this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

53 shares on X this month:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

40 shares on X this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Breaking via TikTok:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Making waves on Messenger:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Seen just now on X:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Just shared via Threads:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

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Activity Log ✨

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Keep the laugh going 😂

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨