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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Trending via Threads:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Spotted on WeChat:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Trending via Discord:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Retail therapy sure knows how to hit the wallet where it hurts 😂💸 #EmotionalInvestments

acceptable, consumer, consumer rights, depressed, depression, excuse, full, humor, i, reason, refund, retail, return, rights, shopping, should, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

0

2 months ago

anger, angry, awkwardness, deadpan, expression, facial, facial expression, facial neutral, humor, i, joke, killer, neutral, neutral expression, personality, serial, serial killer, social, social awkwardness, suffer, syndrome, where
Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

0

5 months ago

dance, humor, i, just, liking, move, music, sometimes, song, ugh, wish
Being silly is very important for my mental health.

0

2 months ago

being, fun, happiness, health, humor, important, mental, mental health, self-care, silly
If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, isolation, just, keep, management, me, meet, meeting, myself, self-employed, senior, talking, walking, work
Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, air, air guitar, cleaning, funny question, guitar, humor, joke, know, music, question, vacuum
Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

0

2 months ago

code, debug, development, enlightenment, humor, programming, software, software development, sometimes, staring

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

58 shares on X this month:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Just landed via X:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Going viral on Messenger:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨