Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Just shared via Threads:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Going viral on Slack:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Just landed via X:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Trending via Messenger:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Spotted on Twitch:

Having a job ruined my life.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life hack: One birthday post to rule them all! 🎂📅🎉

birthday, celebration, everyone, exhaustion, greeting, happy, humor, i, keep, life, procrastination, rest, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

3 months ago

call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, line, phone, service, stay, waiting
Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

2 months ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, introvert, me, people, personal, personal space, sarcasm, should, social, social interaction, space, zone
A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

3 weeks ago

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year
I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

2 days ago

15, 420, celebrate, celebration, date, fraction, humor, i, joke, know, math
Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

5 months ago

ancestry, combination, face, family, generation, generations, heritage, literally, love, people, relationship, remember
You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

2 months ago

5, digital, digital etiquette, etiquette, home, humor, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, mouse, moving, never, office, online, online meeting, productivity, remote, remote work, say, screen, screen time, seconds, stop, Teams, time, virtual, virtual office, work, work from home, work humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on YouTube this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

81 shares on X this month:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

29 shares on Discord this month:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Just shared via TikTok:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Trending via Reddit:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Just landed via X:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Making waves on Discord:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Just shared via Threads:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Just landed via Telegram:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Making waves on Twitch:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨