Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Trending via Slack:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Spotted on Discord:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Spotted on Slack:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Making waves on Twitch:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you send a vampire text at night but by morning you’ve gone full-on sunlight mode 🌞🦇😅

again, communication, freaky, hate, humor, i, mood, mood shift, morning, night, pure, purity, reply, shift, shut, someone, something, still, sun, texting, vibe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

2 months ago

advice, cheese, disaster, dog, dogs, emergency, event, food, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous advice, joke, natural, natural disaster, place, pockets, rescue, search, search dog, snacks, survival, tornado, wiener
When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

2 months ago

carbs, childhood, diet, eat, food, humor, i, kid, noodles, only, pasta, point, still, today
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

4 weeks ago

20s, audience, authenticity, doing, growth, important, performing, personal, personal growth, prove, resist, resistance, self-awareness, temptation, watching, well
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

6 months ago

awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try
Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

2 months ago

agenda, event, hear, humor, irony, me, party, people, reveal, social, social event, trust
The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

2 months ago

best, driving, home, humor, snow, staying, staying home, thing, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

49 shares on Slack this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Just shared via Threads:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Live now on Twitch:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨