Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Just landed via Pinterest:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Just shared via Messenger:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Going viral on Threads:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Making waves on X:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your alarm clock turns into your arch-nemesis, betrayal level 100 😂⏰😴

hate, humor, i, love, mean, mean thing, relationship, someone, thing, things, time, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

0

2 months ago

child, family, forever, humor, i, joke, know, parents, sarcasm, saying
The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

0

2 months ago

absence, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, i, personality, play, role, show
I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, communication, humor, joke, loud, me, people, senior, slow, speech, talk, where
I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

0

2 months ago

childhood, food, great, hard, hard times, humor, hyena, i, laughs, survival, times, wild
Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

0

3 months ago

back, clothing, fashion, going, love, once, pant, pants, style, trend, wide-leg, wide-leg pant
I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

0

2 months ago

agree, agreement, avoidance, conversation, humor, i, interaction, just, people, social, social interaction, stop, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

43 shares on Slack this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

55 shares on Slack this month:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Going viral on Slack:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Just landed via Slack:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Just landed via Messenger:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Just landed via Reddit:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Breaking via Instagram:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Just landed via WeChat:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨