Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Just landed via YouTube:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Going viral on Telegram:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Just landed via Reddit:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

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Commentary:
"Learning from other people's mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

43 shares on Slack this month:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Just shared via Slack:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Breaking via WeChat:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

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