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Commentary:
"Learning from other people's mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, humor, Jesus, killed, me, Pilates, reference, religious, religious reference, sarcasm, thing, want
I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

0

2 months ago

confidence, eating, enjoying, enjoying life, feels, having, hope, humor, i, independence, irony, life, me, myself, nobody, positivity, self-love, solitude, sorry, time
It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

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2 months ago

clothing, cold, humor, men, outside, shorts, wear, winter
The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

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2 months ago

back, bad, bad habit, bundle, communication, habit, habits, humanity, humor, i, me, message, mushroom, need, psychedelic, response, self-improvement, shit, tell, together, told, us, weeks
If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, family, follow, give, hack, humor, just, kid, me, parenting, play, sibling, toy, want
When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

0

2 months ago

apartment, dark, dark humor, death, dying, ghost, ghost story, haunt, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, i, me, myself, please, rush, spooky, story, supernatural, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

72 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Going viral on Slack:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Just shared via Reddit:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Shared recently on X:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Breaking via TikTok:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Spotted on X:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨