Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Shared recently on Facebook:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Just landed via Twitch:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Trending via Facebook:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Trending via Slack:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Just landed via TikTok:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just got new walking shoes—perfect for dodging human furniture! 🚶‍♀️🛋️😄

attitude, furniture, humor, i, ignore, mean, mean person, past, people, person, right, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

0

5 months ago

almost, away, black, black clothing, bring, change, clothes, clothing, clothing transition, fall, fashion, humor, put, seasonal, seasonal change, summer, time, transition, wardrobe
One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

0

2 months ago

aging, bathroom, before, carefree, change, day, funny observation, humor, life, life change, next, observation, preheating, shower, young, youth
I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

0

2 months ago

closet, clothes, clothing, clothing problem, confusion, fashion, full, humor, i, problem, style, understand, wardrobe
If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

0

2 months ago

accuracy, accurate, daisy, flower, humor, love, me, relationship, report
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

0

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

0

5 months ago

body, full, humor, laziness, lord, me, motivation, potential, prayer, push, rest, self-improvement, year, year-end

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

84 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Freshly posted on X:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Trending via TikTok:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Trending via Slack:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My parents think they know me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨