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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Spotted on Instagram:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Going viral on Reddit:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Just shared via YouTube:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Just shared via X:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about embracing girly glam and cozy, moisturized sleep with scents and lip balm.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you wake up smelling like a spa and your pillow's living its best life 🍬💤✨

balm, beauty, beauty rest, bedtime, bedtime routine, being, care, girl, girly, girly girl, going, i, just, lip, lip balm, love, moisturized, rest, routine, scent, self, self-care, skincare, sleep, soft

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

46 shares on X this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

13 shares on Slack this month:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Trending via Snapchat:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Spotted on Discord:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨