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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Freshly posted on X:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Spotted on Reddit:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Making waves on YouTube:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Just landed via Twitch:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Going viral on Discord:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Making waves on TikTok:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

2 months ago

0

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

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Commentary:
Ah, the art of awkward conversation mastery! 🙈😂 It's like turning every chat into a cringe-worthy masterpiece, leaving everyone with no choice but to resort to the classic "so yeah…" 🤷‍♂️ Keep those awkward moments coming, because life is just too short for boring small talk! 😜✨ #AwkwardConvoPro

after, awkward, comedy, conversation, conversation starter, cringe, humor, i, interaction, love, making, most, say, silence, social, starter, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

0

2 months ago

blood, capri, Capri Sun, cup, drink, humor, legally, legs, mosquito, required, something, summer, sun
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

0

2 months ago

experience, fun, humor, i, irony, learn, learning, life, mistakes, repetition, times
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

0

2 months ago

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

0

4 days ago

expense, expensive, humor, marriage, miserable, misery, most, relationship, ways
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

0

5 months ago

bisexual, confusing, confusion, every, frequency, humor, once, relationship, sexual, term, twice, week
I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

0

2 months ago

anger, communication, frustration, humor, just, making, management, me, need, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Making waves on Threads:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Freshly posted on Discord:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Going viral on Twitch:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Going viral on Discord:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Going viral on TikTok:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Live now on Pinterest:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Spotted on Messenger:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

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