Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Making waves on Twitch:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Just landed via TikTok:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Making waves on YouTube:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Just landed via X:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Going viral on Twitch:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Going viral on X:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Using viral selfies as bait before dropping a political plot twist—who knew selfies could double as debate tickets? 📸🎣😂

after, gone, herd, herd mentality, humor, i, media, mentality, opinion, opinions, political, politics, post, satire, selfie, social, social media, sure, viral

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

0

2 months ago

comedy, convenience, cooking, food, humor, jump, recipe, technology, teleportation, thing
Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

0

2 months ago

communication, digital, digital humor, emoji, humor, sarcasm, serious, seriousness, show, texting, using, while
I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

0

2 months ago

called, challenge, daily, daily goal, day, doing, every, goal, humor, i, just, month, motivation, November, perseverance, procrastination, through, try, where
The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

0

4 months ago

heal, healing, health, humor, loss, me, memory, memory loss, mental, mental health, only, sarcasm, thing
In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, management, procrastination, productive, productivity, terms, time, time management, today, wasting, wasting time
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

0

2 months ago

back, cat, cats, hate, humor, life, mouse, next, next life, people, reincarnation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

68 shares on X this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

62 shares on WeChat this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Breaking via WeChat:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Spotted on X:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Trending via WeChat:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Spotted on Threads:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨