Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Live now on Facebook:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Just landed via Telegram:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Seen just now on X:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Trending via Instagram:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Making waves on TikTok:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your face is giving away more spoilers than a movie trailer! 🎬🤐 #FaceSubtitles"

awkward, awkward situation, choose, communication, cues, expression, face, facial, facial expression, humor, i, nonverbal, nonverbal communication, silence, silent, situation, situations, social, social cues, stay, subtitles, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, cheese, craving, food, humor, i, mozzarella, snack, wish
Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, learning, less, Macarena, nothing, paid, regret, time, wasted, wasted time
Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

0

2 months ago

acceptable, dad, family, humor, i, life, never, sneeze, volume
God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

0

2 months ago

all-forgetting, all-knowing, forgetfulness, God, humor, ID, wisdom
The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

0

5 months ago

chip, chips, different, eating, food, humor, i, pizza, restaurant, snack, starter, wait, waiting, while
Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

0

2 months ago

beginning, child, ending, humor, learning, life, mommy, parenting, say

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

46 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Seen just now on Threads:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Just shared via Discord:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Making waves on Instagram:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Breaking via YouTube:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨