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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,913

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Just shared via Telegram:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Just landed via Slack:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Spotted on Instagram:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your face is giving away more spoilers than a movie trailer! 🎬🤐 #FaceSubtitles"

awkward, awkward situation, choose, communication, cues, expression, face, facial, facial expression, humor, i, nonverbal, nonverbal communication, silence, silent, situation, situations, social, social cues, stay, subtitles, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

1 month ago

acquaintance, fire, frustration, humor, i, know, media, people, set, social, social media, someone
I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

1 month ago

dating, humor, joke, pics, pizza, start, unsolicited, women
Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

1 month ago

craving, cream, dessert, dinner, food, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, indulgence, meal, meal idea, should, thing
Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

1 month ago

Amazon, breathalyzer, checkout, drunk, feature, humor, needs, order, shopping
The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

1 month ago

age, birth, birth year, born, digital, digital age, getting, humor, i, little, nostalgia, scrolling, technology, thing, year
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

4 months ago

away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Shared recently on X:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Going viral on Facebook:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

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Activity Log ✨

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

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I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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