Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Just landed via Slack:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Breaking via Slack:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Just landed via YouTube:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Spotted on X:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Just landed via YouTube:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Just landed via Discord:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looking for a paycheck that induces heart palpitations, but in a good way! 💸😂

every, finance, humor, i, income, job, me, money, month, need, paycheck, salary, shock, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

0

5 months ago

bagel, everything, everything bagel, food, food metaphor, humor, i, love, me, metaphor, nothingburger, relationship, unrequited, unrequited love
Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

0

2 months ago

debt, enjoy, frustration, hope, humor, i, identity, left, me, new, password, posture, steal, stealing, technology, terrible, think
People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

0

2 months ago

always, ask, breakfast, chair, convenience, hell, humor, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, shower, standing
People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

0

2 months ago

always, bad, bad thing, depressing, even, funeral, humor, i, ID, late, lucky, me, own, people, shit, show, show up, tell, thing
Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, home, income, lessons, life, life lessons, need, partner, peaceful, realization, realize, responsibility, stability, stable
I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

0

2 months ago

attitude, gift, gifts, give, holidays, humor, people, personality, sarcasm, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

24 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Seen just now on Telegram:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Spotted on Instagram:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Just landed via TikTok:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Making waves on Twitch:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Just landed via YouTube:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨