Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Trending via Telegram:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Going viral on Instagram:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Only if I can use that hour to plan how I'll think about you the rest of the time! 🕒🤔🧠

1, day, funny request, hour, humor, i, jealousy, love, me, need, obsession, possessiveness, relationship, request, think, thinking, time, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

0

5 months ago

humor, just, person, personality, sleepiness, sleepy, times, timing, tired, wrong
A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

0

2 months ago

aging, asking, conversation, getting, getting older, half, having, humor, interaction, just, lessons, life, life lessons, much, older, person, plus, repeat, small, small talk, social, social interaction, spent, talk
These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

0

2 months ago

aging, club, dance, fashion, heel, heels, humor, knee, knees, low, party, same, used
The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, comfort, cool, humor, jealousy, just, pillow, relationship, side, sleep, stole
Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, birthday, celebration, expectations, gift, government, humor, irony, knows, me, never
My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

0

2 months ago

bake, baking, British, comedy, dream, driving, DUI, food, great, Great British Bake Off, humor, Saab, tent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

35 shares on X this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

93 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Breaking via Twitch:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Just landed via Discord:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Just shared via Messenger:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Trending via WhatsApp:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Breaking via Facebook:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Seen just now on Threads:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨