Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Trending via Snapchat:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Trending via Instagram:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Trending via WeChat:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Just shared via TikTok:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Breaking via Instagram:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing I'm growing is my grocery bill! 🌱💸🤔

advice, expense, expensive, food, frustration, gardening, grow, humor, i, just, okay, own, posts, sarcasm, think, too, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

0

2 months ago

fashion, fun, fun sock, humor, husband, marriage, relationship, sock, socks, year’s
Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

0

2 months ago

aspiration, career, humor, irony, job, life, me, pursue, why
I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

0

2 months ago

activity, buying, choice, convince, decision, decision making, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, impulsive, indulgence, jetski, keep, life, life choice, living, making, me, need, recreational, someone, temptation
The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, friend, humor, loyalty, media, people, post, single, social, social media
Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

0

2 months ago

board, board games, competition, family, fun, game, game night, games, humor, i, lose, night, only, playful, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry
A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

0

2 weeks ago

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

15 shares on X this month:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Making waves on Reddit:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Making waves on Instagram:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨