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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Breaking via Discord:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Just landed via YouTube:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Breaking via TikTok:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When sleep is a marathon and I just won the gold medal 🏅😴🎉

everyone, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, just, kid, kids, know, last, night, parent, rest, sleep, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us
So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

0

2 months ago

30, bank, estate, finance, house, humor, i, joke, mean, mortgage, own, ownership, real, real estate, reverse, take
Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

0

2 months ago

chips, eating, entertainment, humor, multitasking, snack, subtitles
Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, drunk, dumb, dumb thing, humor, person, phone, technology, thing, tiny, tiny person
The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

0

2 months ago

brella, creation, going, hesitation, humor, inventor, naming, umbrella, wordplay
“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

0

2 months ago

AI, attack, caffeine, coffee, coming, drink, human, human reaction, humor, ID, job, panic, panic attack, reaction, stress, technology, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Just landed via Messenger:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Live now on Reddit:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Trending via Messenger:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Just landed via Telegram:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Shared recently on Twitch:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Spotted on Twitch:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Spotted on Discord:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨