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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Seen just now on Discord:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Just shared via TikTok:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Trending via Facebook:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Making waves on Reddit:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Making waves on Discord:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
That's the energy we all need: out-email the email, not the person! 📧🚫😅

again, communication, email, email etiquette, emails, etiquette, humor, i, know, let, life, me, office, office life, questions, sarcasm, stopped, work, work email

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, humor, leisure, nothing, relaxation, rest, spent, weekend, well
That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

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2 months ago

annoying, annoying moment, autocorrect, communication, conversation, humor, moment, someone, technology, texting
Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

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2 months ago

complain, forget, humor, Monday, motivation, stress, today, whine, workweek
Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

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2 months ago

communication, gender, humor, i, just, meeting, office, professionalism, question, questions, something, understand, understanding, woman, women, workplace
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

0

2 months ago

bottom, chores, cleaning, here, house, humor, i, irony, just, living, need, sarcasm, stop, top
Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

0

2 months ago

always, casual, fashion, favorite, humor, outfit, outfits, relationship, shirt, underwear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Spotted on Messenger:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Just landed via Slack:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Seen just now on Discord:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Going viral on Threads:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨