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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Just landed via Discord:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Making waves on Threads:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Trending via YouTube:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Spotted on Threads:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Breaking via Instagram:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
God be like, "Time for your pockets to perform some miracles! 💸✨🙌"

aspiration, bless, blessing, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pocket, pockets, stability, stable, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

2 months ago

animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

2 months ago

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday
I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

6 months ago

bacon, burnt, crispy, death, food, humor, i, killing, man, me, men, relationship, sarcasm
Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

2 months ago

catch, existence, humor, illusion, joke, me, notice, public, real, self-awareness
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

2 months ago

doll, give, good, humor, joke, massage, playful, quirky, sarcastic, voodoo, voodoo doll
The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

4 months ago

ask, direction, directions, error, everything, follow, Google, Google Map, grok, humor, lake, map, mistake, navigation, people, same, straight, technology, user, user error

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on X this month:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Live now on Reddit:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Trending via WeChat:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Freshly posted on X:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Live now on Snapchat:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Just shared via X:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Seen just now on X:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨