Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,760

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Going viral on X:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just shared via Slack:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Trending via Telegram:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Breaking via TikTok:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I woke up alive again.

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
God be like, "Time for your pockets to perform some miracles! 💸✨🙌"

aspiration, bless, blessing, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pocket, pockets, stability, stable, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

0

1 month ago

3am, 40, attraction, beautiful, fitness, humor, kind, late, late night, me, night, push-up, room
Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

0

2 months ago

bar, chugging, drink, funny situation, humor, interaction, joke, nothing, safety, saying, situation, social, social interaction, woman
Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

0

2 months ago

authority, bed, demons, humor, imagination, landlord, rent
On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

0

3 months ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting
All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

0

1 month ago

accountability, billionaire, confiscated, five, humor, last, list, satire, society, things, wealth, week
Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

0

2 months ago

Confucius, death, die, drink, earlier, experience, humor, life, lot, much, seen, twice, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

93 shares on Slack this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

62 shares on Slack this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Seen just now on Discord:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Just shared via Instagram:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Spotted on Facebook:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Just landed via Facebook:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨