I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.