Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Trending via Facebook:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Just shared via Twitch:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That moment when my nose wants to file its own paperwork 😅🚫👃

annoyance, deodorant, everyone, humor, hygiene, i, odor, order, personal, personal space, restraining, social, social humor, space, want, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

0

2 months ago

activity, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, home, home activity, household, household task, humor, Olympics, petition, sheet, task
And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

0

2 months ago

audience, comedy, hilarious, humor, people, room, us
In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

0

1 month ago

asked, before, clean, effort, else, family, holiday, house, humor, joke, keep, live, moving, somewhere, Thanksgiving
Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

0

2 months ago

artist, courtroom, duty, funny situation, humor, imagine, jury, jury duty, lines, situation, sketch, sketch artist, stink, stink lines
It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

0

3 months ago

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack
I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, comparison, door, humor, i, lids, open, Tupperware, vehicle, wing, wing door

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

78 shares on Slack this month:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Just shared via Facebook:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Going viral on YouTube:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Just shared via TikTok:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨