Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.
  • My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.
  • Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.
  • Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?
  • That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.
  • “This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?