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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Breaking via Facebook:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Just landed via Telegram:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Live now on TikTok:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Trending via Instagram:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When it comes to hints, I'm on a strict see-no-clue diet. 🙈🤷‍♂️🔍

accept, act, clarity, communication, dumb, humor, humor quote, i, irony, me, sarcasm, say, stubborn, stubborn act, stubbornness, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

0

7 days ago

burger, Burger King, childhood, childhood nostalgia, disappearance, disappearing, fast, fast food, food, forest, going, Grinch, Grinch meal, humor, king, McDonald’s, meal, nostalgia, Spongebob, Spongebob meal, twenty
One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, being, dad, family, faster, fun, humor, important, parenting, pretty, rest, travel, walking
Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

0

2 months ago

baby, curiosity, humor, innocence, know, observation, somewhere, stare, why
Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

0

2 months ago

able, again, cause, commitment, date, fear, humor, i, love, never, relationship, scared, single
Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

0

2 months ago

cold, flirtation, food, girl, hot, humor, inside, leftovers, line, microwaved, outside, pickup, pickup line, plate
“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

0

2 months ago

flirting, glasses, good, humor, line, me, nightstand, pickup, pickup line, reading, reading glasses, romance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

62 shares on Slack this month:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

30 shares on X this month:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Just shared via Telegram:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Going viral on YouTube:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Just landed via Threads:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Spotted on Instagram:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨