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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Trending via Facebook:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Just shared via Discord:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Spotted on Threads:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Trending via WeChat:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Spotted on Messenger:

Avocado is just green butter.

Just shared via Threads:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Body by sandwich.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When it comes to hints, I'm on a strict see-no-clue diet. 🙈🤷‍♂️🔍

accept, act, clarity, communication, dumb, humor, humor quote, i, irony, me, sarcasm, say, stubborn, stubborn act, stubbornness, wit

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74 shares on Reddit this month:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

74 shares on Threads this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

38 shares on Slack this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

29 shares on Telegram this month:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Live now on WeChat:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Live now on Slack:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Just shared via Slack:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Going viral on Twitch:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨