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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Being awake is the worst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Spotted on Twitch:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Spotted on WeChat:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Just shared via Facebook:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Making waves on Threads:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Going viral on WeChat:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Freshly posted on X:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

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If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.
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Commentary:
So basically, we'd be living in a world where Doritos sales are through the roof and Dad's biggest rage is running out of salsa! 🌿😋🎉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

99 shares on Discord this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

95 shares on Discord this month:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Trending via TikTok:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Making waves on Discord:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Going viral on Discord:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Shared recently on Threads:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Going viral on TikTok:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Going viral on Facebook:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

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