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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,855

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Spotted on YouTube:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Going viral on Telegram:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Freshly posted on Discord:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sane is boring.

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the printer jams again: 🤫🔮 'The prophecy has been fulfilled,' and exit stage left! 👋😂"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

0

2 months ago

duration, exercise, exercising, fitness, humor, minute, never, patience, perception, realize, time, workout
Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

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2 months ago

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Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

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2 months ago

common, common sense, days, humor, intelligence, observation, rarity, sense, society, superpower, wisdom
Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

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3 months ago

dating, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, someone, stripper, Twitter
All my small talk is done with a car horn.

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2 months ago

car, car horn, communication, done, driving, horn, humor, interaction, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

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3 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

39 shares on X this month:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

12 shares on X this month:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Just landed via Messenger:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Going bananas on Threads:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Spotted on Facebook:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Making waves on X:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨