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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Making waves on Slack:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Going viral on Twitch:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Just landed via Twitch:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a true champion of the imaginary squirrel chase! 🐶🥇🏆

barking, behavior, dog, gold, gold medal, humor, medal, nothing, Olympic, Olympic sport, pet, pet behavior, sport, win

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

0

2 months ago

dip, doing, exercise, funny observation, humor, let, me, observation, Pilates, real, tell, toe, toe dip, woman, women, workout
I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

0

5 months ago

age, divorce, half, humor, i, marriage, milestone, relationship, should
“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, favorite, favorite thing, humor, laziness, leisure, life, nothing, point, relaxation, thing, where
Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

0

2 months ago

after, day, enough, exhaustion, me, me time, neurodivergent, refuse, sleep, survival, time, tired
Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

0

2 months ago

always, breakup, comedy, emotional, houston, humor, i, independence, just, love, loved, mean, point, relationships, sarcasm, whitney, Whitney Houston
I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

0

2 months ago

construction, doing, good, i, job, know, me, meant, today, walking, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Spotted on X:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Making waves on YouTube:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Seen just now on Slack:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Live now on Threads:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Just shared via Facebook:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Just shared via X:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨