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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,044

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Just landed via Slack:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Just landed via Threads:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Just shared via X:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a true champion of the imaginary squirrel chase! 🐶🥇🏆

barking, behavior, dog, gold, gold medal, humor, medal, nothing, Olympic, Olympic sport, pet, pet behavior, sport, win

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

1 month ago
bad, bad relationship, dating, Facebook, Facebook memory, humor, i, life, love, love life, majority, me, memory, men, regret, relationship, taste, thank
My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

1 month ago
anxiety, body, class, hear, humor, leaving, lecturer, someone, soul, spoken
New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

4 months ago
2, act, acting, character, cinephile, humor, main, main character, method, method watching, months, movie, new, talk, talking, technique, watch, watching
Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

1 month ago
always, casual, fashion, favorite, humor, outfit, outfits, relationship, shirt, underwear
I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

1 month ago
angry, emotions, feel, feelings, frustration, horny, humor, i, just, relationships
Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

1 month ago
better, chewing, conducting, doing, electrical, electrical wire, grounded, humor, i, joke, parenting, properly, pun, son, wire

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

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Activity Log ✨

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

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If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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