Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱‍👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"

back, coming, exaggeration, humor, i, joke, missing, poster, prank, put, sarcasm, swear, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

0

2 months ago

age, check, confusion, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, glasses, humor, i, life, memory, pills, put, remember, where
An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

0

2 months ago

annoying, computer, email, frustration, humor, return, store, technology
Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

0

2 months ago

friendship, humor, pinky, pinky promise, promise, still, trust
I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, animal, desire, escape, everything, fix, freedom, horse, humor, i, Kazakhstan, wild, wild horse, wish
I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, i, let, outdoors, people, pretty, self-love, should, today, walk
Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

0

2 months ago

communication, earlier, humor, i, joke, message, mind, mind reading, reading, telepathy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Slack this month:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

97 shares on X this month:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

35 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

18 shares on X this month:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Live now on Discord:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Spotted on Twitch:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Trending via Threads:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Spotted on Reddit:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Just landed via Snapchat:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Just shared via Instagram:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Trending via Slack:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨