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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Live now on Slack:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Just landed via Instagram:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Just landed via Facebook:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

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If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.
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Commentary:
"Looks like I'm the missing puzzle piece in the chaos of your life 🧩😜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

19 shares on Threads this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Going viral on Pinterest:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Making waves on YouTube:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Trending via Threads:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Spotted on X:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

Trending via Discord:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

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