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Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

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Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,059

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Seen just now on Telegram:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Just shared via X:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Trending via WhatsApp:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm the missing puzzle piece in the chaos of your life 🧩😜"

confidence, ever, feel, flirt, humor, joke, life, me, missing, playful, romantic, sarcasm, self-esteem

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

1 month ago
around, cat, cats, dynamics, humor, husband, just, me, order, pets, relationship
You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

1 month ago
everyone, expectations, happiness, happy, humor, individuality, jar, Nutella, reality, self-acceptance
I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

2 months ago
humor, i, insecurity, man, me, relationship, self-esteem, shy, stare, ugly
I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

1 month ago
boredom, checking, humor, i, keep, loneliness, me, mean, media, phone, self-deprecating, silly, social, social media, somebody, something, technology
The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

1 month ago
crazy, health, humor, i, just, lazy, mental, mental health, procrastination, reason, self-awareness, too
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

4 months ago
asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Live now on Discord:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Shared recently on Threads:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Going bananas on Threads:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Seen just now on Slack:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Trending via Messenger:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

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Activity Log ✨

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Stop dating if you have no car.

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Can we skip to the rich part?

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

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If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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