Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Spotted on TikTok:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Spotted on TikTok:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Making waves on X:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Just shared via Telegram:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

1 month ago

Witty text expressing reluctance to be in public, humorous and playful vibe.

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Commentary:
Accidentally socializing in the wild… send help! 🚶‍♂️➡️🏡😅

awkwardness, ever, honesty, humor, i, introvert, just, know, me, public, situation, social, social situation, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

74 shares on Threads this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

66 shares on Slack this month:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Live now on Messenger:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Live now on Twitch:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Just shared via Twitch:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Going viral on Reddit:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Spotted on TikTok:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Spotted on Slack:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨