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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Broadcasted on Discord:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Trending via TikTok:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Spotted on Twitch:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about love and snacks, highlighting humor and lightheartedness.

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Commentary:
That moment you realize snacks are your true love language 🥨❤️🍫

activity, always, back, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, let, letting, letting go, love, meant, relationship, snacks, someone

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Threads this month:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Spotted on Instagram:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Going viral on Messenger:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Shared recently on X:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Making waves on Threads:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Just shared via X:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Trending via Messenger:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Just shared via Telegram:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

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Activity Log ✨

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

I have to stand in the shower about this.

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I have to stand in the shower about this.

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨