Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Just shared via Discord:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Just shared via Discord:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Just shared via Reddit:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Live now on Telegram:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Trending via Reddit:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Shared recently on YouTube:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about a girl craving sunsets, laughter, coffee, books, and fantastical dreams.

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Commentary:
I too crave the simple life: sunsets, coffee, and riding my dragon to the past for discounted lattes 🐉☕️📚✨

book, books, coffee, dragon, drink, fantasy, girl, humor, i, just, laugh, machine, pet, read, simple, simple girl, sunset, thinking, time, time machine, want, watch, wishful, wishful thinking

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Discord this month:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

24 shares on Slack this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

21 shares on Discord this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

56 shares on Threads this month:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Trending via Instagram:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Breaking via Messenger:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Just shared via Telegram:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Breaking via Facebook:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

She is both the storm and the shelter.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

She is both the storm and the shelter.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨