Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Just shared via Reddit:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Making waves on Discord:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Spotted on Slack:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about a girl craving sunsets, laughter, coffee, books, and fantastical dreams.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I too crave the simple life: sunsets, coffee, and riding my dragon to the past for discounted lattes 🐉☕️📚✨

book, books, coffee, dragon, drink, fantasy, girl, humor, i, just, laugh, machine, pet, read, simple, simple girl, sunset, thinking, time, time machine, want, watch, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

1 month ago

bed, bedrotting, comfort, just, leisure, lying, lying down, nice, phone, relaxation, using
I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

4 weeks ago

confusion, doing, even, existential, humor, humor quote, life, planet, sure
Tell your dog I said woof woof.

1 month ago

animal, communication, dog, humor, i, joke, pet, tell, woof
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

4 weeks ago

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty
I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

4 weeks ago

friendship, friendship humor, friendship loyalty, going, good, humor, i, keep, loyalty, storage, Tupperware
I love when the plot thickens.

4 weeks ago

humor, i, love, phrase, plot, thickening

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

97 shares on X this month:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

24 shares on Discord this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

96 shares on X this month:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

56 shares on Threads this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

I love when the plot thickens.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨