Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,982

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Trending via Threads:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Just shared via YouTube:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Going viral on Discord:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Trending via Threads:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Prepare the earplugs, folks, because tomorrow's karaoke night is going to be a "Yoko Ono hits high note" special! 🎤😂🎶

activity, bar, entertainment, every, fun, fun activity, going, humor, karaoke, music, ono, parody, performance, sing, singing, song, style, tomorrow, where, yoko, Yoko Ono

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

0

2 months ago

awareness, ever, humor, killed, mood, nostalgia, own, remembering, self-reflection, vibe
My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

0

2 months ago

activity, correct, daughter, dinosaur, dinosaurs, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, me, misidentifying, parenting
Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

0

2 months ago

coming, humor, life, mouth, music, nostalgia, right, smash, Smash Mouth, start, stop, time, year’s
Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

0

2 months ago

back, cancellation, humor, just, Monday, new, news, relaxation, sleep, turn, wake, wake up, wish
Roses are pink. I need a drink.

0

2 months ago

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine
Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

0

2 months ago

better, crazy, else, everyone, knowing, nothing, right, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

34 shares on Threads this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

31 shares on Threads this month:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Breaking via Discord:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Making waves on Threads:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Live now on Threads:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Shared recently on Threads:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Just landed via YouTube:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Making waves on Instagram:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Seen just now on Discord:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨