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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Just landed via TikTok:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Going viral on TikTok:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Breaking via Telegram:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

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Commentary:
Haha, talk about professional appetite! 😅🍽️ Looks like your stomach’s negotiating a benefits package before the next meal. Maybe we should file an “Eat-ployment” claim—health insurance for snacks, of course! 🥪💼🔥

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

78 shares on Threads this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Making waves on Facebook:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Going viral on Facebook:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Making waves on Discord:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Breaking via Discord:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Going viral on Reddit:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Going bananas on X:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

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