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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,873

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Just shared via Discord:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

3 hours ago

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Commentary:
Still trying to tip the scales with good deeds so that cow doesn't come back in my next life 🐄✌️😅

12, animal, childhood, cow, debt, fair, finger, funny memory, gesture, humor, i, karmic, karmic debt, memory, middle, middle finger, state, state fair, still, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

0

2 months ago

advice, attract, crush, dating, ever, humor, i, me, psychopath, relationship, self-awareness, therapist
The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

0

2 months ago

exactly, headache, humor, medicine, question, stomach
Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

0

2 months ago

26, days, destiny, getting, paid, times
Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

0

2 months ago

eat, food, food industry, found, ground, health, humor, industry, just, nutrition, organic, processed, processed food, sarcasm, satire, somewhere
Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

0

2 months ago

almost, apology, communication, humor, i, message, messages, please, procrastination, relationship, respond, sent, texting
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

0

2 months ago

challenge, chaos, class, control, days, education, hug, humor, teaching, tornado, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Discord this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

85 shares on X this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

64 shares on X this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

37 shares on X this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Just landed via Slack:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Trending via Threads:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Just landed via WeChat:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨