Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Just landed via Discord:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That's when you know even the ice cream has a curfew! 🍦⏰😂"

cream, hearing, humor, ice, ice cream, imagination, imagine, music, night, sound, surprise, truck, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sane is boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, fun, humor, personality, sane
Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

0

2 months ago

block, era, fast, fast pace, game, going, grateful, history, human, human history, humor, life, living, modern, modern life, overwhelmed, pace, Tetris, too, video, video game
If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

0

3 months ago

cactus, drink, drink water, health, hydration, reading, reminder, water
Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

0

2 months ago

bag, chip, chip bag, clear, clear bag, consumer, food, grocery, humor, me, packaging, pay, price, should, show, snacks, transparency, want
I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

0

2 months ago

am, existence, humor, i, philosophy, self-reflection, think
Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

0

2 months ago

activity, dawn, drink, duel, dusk, good, haunt, humor, lover, lovers, morning, night, only

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

59 shares on X this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

98 shares on Threads this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

25 shares on X this month:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Trending via Snapchat:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Seen just now on Slack:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Trending via Reddit:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Spotted on Instagram:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sane is boring.

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨