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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Going viral on Messenger:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Live now on WeChat:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Spotted on Twitch:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

2 months ago

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Sandwich the drama of spelling tests with a juice box ❌📝🥤

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

59 shares on Threads this month:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

97 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Making waves on TikTok:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Making waves on Threads:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Trending via Threads:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Just landed via Facebook:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Just landed via Slack:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

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Activity Log ✨

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨