Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,828

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Breaking via LinkedIn:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Just landed via Twitch:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣

away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, expectation, humor, most, severe, things, thunderstorm, warning, weather
Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

0

2 months ago

coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home
Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

0

2 months ago

always, country, humor, i, Italy, love, romance, truly, wordplay
Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

0

2 months ago

every, fun, humor, joke, marriage, me, relationship, tariff, threat, threatening, time, wife
You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

0

2 months ago

buddy, comparison, genre, groove, humor, music, music genre, musical, musical skill, playful, playful tease, remark, rhythm, sarcasm, skill, swing, tease, witty, witty remark
I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

0

2 months ago

dislike, honesty, humor, i, just, personality, shy, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

18 shares on Slack this month:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

91 shares on Discord this month:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Seen just now on Facebook:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Just landed via Slack:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Making waves on TikTok:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Trending via WeChat:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Just shared via YouTube:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Just landed via Messenger:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨