Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Going viral on Messenger:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Making waves on Instagram:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Trending via Snapchat:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Just landed via Twitch:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Going viral on YouTube:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣

away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition

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63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Shared recently on Threads:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Going viral on Discord:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Live now on TikTok:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Just shared via Discord:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨