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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I disagree with my politics.

Going viral on Reddit:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Breaking via Telegram:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Breaking via YouTube:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Going viral on YouTube:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Just shared via Slack:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like I'm in the VIP club of stunning! Who knew good looks granted internet access? 😎✨

big, big sexy, block, blocked, humor, insult, just, media, people, person, playful, sexy, social, social media, ugly, ugly person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

0

2 months ago

bonus, humor, joke, money, right, room, sarcasm, us, workplace, year-end
If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, came, ever, family, fashion, furious, gay, humor, ID, me, never, relationship, son
Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

0

2 months ago

activity, boredom, brain, curiosity, drive, driving, humor, music, people, playing
It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

0

4 months ago

energy, exhaustion, humor, inside, much, retail, shopping, Walmart
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

0

2 months ago

alive, Chinese, Chinese food, commercial, food, humor, i, life, once, seen
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

0

5 months ago

beat, chess, competition, computer, humor, kickboxing, match, me, once, sport, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

84 shares on Threads this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

33 shares on Discord this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

55 shares on X this month:

Don’t study, get slutty!

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Just shared via Snapchat:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Spotted on TikTok:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Making waves on Facebook:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Going bananas on Slack:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Just shared via Twitch:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨