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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Making waves on WeChat:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Trending via WeChat:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Making waves on Messenger:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Going viral on Facebook:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Just shared via WeChat:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to figure out which takeout place sends free fortune cookies with adulting advice 🍜🕰️🤷‍♂️

80s, being, Chinese, Chinese takeout, convinced, eating, grown up, humor, late, main, me, movy, nostalgia, office, stay, stay late, staying, takeout, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

0

2 months ago

before, best, day, hours, humor, i, minutes, mobile, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, spend, time
Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

0

2 months ago

complaint, deadline, funny statement, humor, management, sarcasm, sorry, statement, time, time management, yesterday
Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

0

2 months ago

Antarctica, continents, critique, explain, explanation, humor, i, talk, today, underperformance, want, yourself
Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

0

2 months ago

awesome, brain, brains, humor, i, intelligence, sarcasm, self-deprecation, wish, wit
I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

0

2 months ago

challenge, create, humor, i, irony, math, new, paradox, problem, solve, three
Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

0

2 months ago

apology, connection, family, friends, God, humor, relationships, support

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Trending via Facebook:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Going viral on Messenger:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Breaking via Telegram:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Just shared via Messenger:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Spotted on X:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨