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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Just shared via YouTube:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Live now on Telegram:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Breaking via X:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like sis's boyfriend is in the official "probation perimeter" of the family photos! 😂📸✂️

boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

0

3 months ago

animal, funny thought, giraffe, having, humor, i, imagination, overthinking, sore, sore throat, stop, thought, throat
As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

0

2 months ago

adult, drinking, friends, humor, nostalgia, park, secret, squirrels, teen, transition
Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

0

2 months ago

advice, climbing, dumpster, funny scenario, give, humor, i, ironic, ironic situation, me, personal, personal advice, scenario, self-deprecation, situation, unexpected, unexpected wisdom, wisdom
Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

0

2 months ago

bad, change, cynicism, evolution, Funny, good, hope, humor, humor change, humor evolution, i, irony, least, me, naivety, perspective, self-awareness, something, whatever, young
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

0

2 months ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, i, lord, me, mouth, office, oh, prayers, sarcasm, sass, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on YouTube this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Just landed via WeChat:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Shared recently on Slack:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Going viral on TikTok:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Breaking via Instagram:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Making waves on Snapchat:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Making waves on TikTok:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨