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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,801

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Live now on Threads:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Spotted on X:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Making waves on Instagram:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic 'hide-and-seek' technique: expert at hiding, pro at never seeking! 🕵️‍♀️🔍😂

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

1 month ago
bath, care, day, dog, dog owner, funny moment, knowing, looking, lovingly, moment, owner, pet, pet care, pet owner, ruin, ruin day
When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

1 month ago
avocado, change, core, going, hard, hard core, humor, someone, stupid, surprise, toy
Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

1 month ago
across, ask, driving, Google, Google Maps, humor, left, left turn, maps, navigation, needs, oncoming, oncoming traffic, safety, setting, take, traffic, turn, where
No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

1 month ago
chasing, confidence, dream, dreams, humor, i, know, lazy, longer, me, nap, relaxation, self-care, want, where
I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

1 month ago
contain, craziness, expression, humor, i, lid, personality, popping, self-control
Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

2 months ago
afternoon, child, child play, eat, fish, fishing, humor, kid, lifetime, man, parenting, play, pretend, sting, stingray, teach

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Trending via Reddit:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Shared recently on X:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

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Activity Log ✨

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

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My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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