Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Going viral on Reddit:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Live now on WeChat:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Live now on Messenger:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Breaking via Slack:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Shared recently on Slack:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Trending via Telegram:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs cooking skills when you’ve memorized every takeout menu in town? 🍕🍔🍣

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

0

2 months ago

ask, astrology, being, ever, feelings, humor, Mercury, only, perspective, reflection, retrograde, self-centered, stop, think, yourself
Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

0

2 months ago

drinking, hangover, humor, lesson, me, nightlife, party, regret, self-reflection, teach
Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

0

2 months ago

activity, biting, chew, dude, fun, night, pull, tonight, want
Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

0

2 months ago

allergy, cat, humor, meowlergy, pets, pun, wordplay
The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, best, brand, city, city life, daily, daily life, dating, day, every, hot, hot woman, hottest, humor, life, literally, new, NYC, single, woman
It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

0

2 months ago

always, cute, emotions, fire, house, humor, irony, mad, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

67 shares on Discord this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

58 shares on Discord this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Going bananas on Twitch:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Breaking via Slack:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just shared via Messenger:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Just shared via Slack:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Shared recently on X:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Just landed via Discord:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨