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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Breaking via YouTube:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Going viral on Facebook:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Freshly posted on X:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

1 month ago

Witty text about love and food, showcasing a humorous take on marriage and restaurants.

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Commentary:
Who needs cooking skills when you’ve memorized every takeout menu in town? 🍕🍔🍣

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

58 shares on Discord this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

88 shares on X this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Just landed via Instagram:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Making waves on Twitch:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Breaking via Reddit:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨