Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

My lips could use some attention today.

Just landed via X:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Going viral on Telegram:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Freshly posted on Discord:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Making waves on TikTok:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Just shared via Slack:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Just landed via X:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs cooking skills when you’ve memorized every takeout menu in town? 🍕🍔🍣

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

0

2 months ago

experience, hallucination, headphones, humor, isolation, music, people, perception, shouting, thing, why, worst
Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

0

3 months ago

activity, forget, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery list, home, i, list, little, memory, organization, shopping, sometimes, take, thing, time, where
I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

0

2 months ago

best, communication, Facetime, friends, friendship, humor, i, love, media, relationships, social, social media, technology
Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

0

2 months ago

animal, answering, cat, cats, communication, greeting, humor, Japanese, phone, pun
Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

0

2 months ago

back, communication, humor, letters, patience, relationship, still, texting, timing, wait, week, writing
I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

0

2 months ago

back, dark, dark humor, humor, humorist, i, imagination, joke, just, kid, kids, looks, parenting, put, sarcasm, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Trending via Instagram:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Going viral on Reddit:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Trending via YouTube:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Just landed via Telegram:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨